kalliel

Wanted to post this today because my thesis is due on Friday and therefore I'll be too busy freaking out to wax poetic about television. Anyway, I read that the House, MD series finale is going to be this Thursday.

House was my Show before Show. I lost interest after Season 5 (and the following autumn, became interested in Supernatural's Season 5), but I've seen S6 and S7 in belated fashion out of a warped sense of loyalty/duty, and I'll watch S8 this summer, too.

After reading that article, it really hit me that my former Show is ending on Thursday. It's been years since I had any personal investment in House at all (and House was never what Supernatural is to me, even at its height--I never did fandom, I never really talked about it outside of watching weekly), but then The Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" came on on the radio and OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDD MY SHOWWWW. ;___;


Thank you, House MD, for five amazing years. --And for the succeeding three, too, because I'm sure they've made many other people as happy as my time with you did for me. ♥

Dear spn_summergen writer,

I mean everything I said in the prompts.

Be daring: This is your chance to put it all out there. Write from the deepest place Supernatural touches in you. Write the thing you'd never try otherwise, and push--past your comfort zone, past where all the writing logic in the world is telling you to stop. Write like no one's watching.

Do not, under any circumstances, feel compelled to cater to my likes, my fannish tendencies, etc., unless they're the daring thing you'd never try. Hell, if you want, just ditch the prompts! This is about you and SPN; this is about your writing and you. All I want is to be your daring reader. So find an adventure for us. ;)

I love Show, and I love my family, and I love how integral each is to my respective relationships with both. And it's so incredibly clear in moments like these:





^ My birthday gift from my father. Let's think about this for a moment and recognize how much thought, how much time, and how much familiarity with Supernatural making/finding this (not to mention conceiving it as a gift for me in the first place!) would have taken. And I'm not my father's only child with a birthday this year.

I love this so much. And thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, as well! I love you all. ♥ I LOVE EVERYTHING.


(Except the current draft of my thesis, which I gave to my advisor an hour ago--how embarrassing. But that is a problem for tomorrow morning.)

I've been--and am still--on life lockdown, trying to write my thesis. But I can't. It's just making me so nervous. I stare at the page and I don't know what to say. And it's not just your regular aversion to getting words on the page; I'm legitimately psyching myself out here. I've already told myself that its artistic merits don't matter yet; its argument doesn't even need to be all that clear yet. All I need is a full draft by 1 May (keyword being DRAFT!). I've already told myself that I know what I'm writing about; I have all the information I need. All my ideas are swirling around somewhere. Doesn't matter; I'm still terrified. Generally I turn to Show for assistance with all my personal problems, haha, but their sad little Winchester faces are so very distracting, and at this juncture not particularly helpful.

So I'm gonna take a few more deep breaths here. I'm going to stop finding fascinating alternative projects, like laundry and dishes and awful tabloid websites (Lindsay Lohan missed her flight to DC! Snookie is pregnant! Jessica Alba is 30!). And I'm going to play this song as loud as I possibly can:



"I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters ... For those ten seconds or less, I'm free."

Helpful tips and/or suggestion welcome! Please no encouragement--I know that sounds weird but truth be told I'm already sick of it, and I cannot handle disappointing even more of it right now.

Big ♥ for you all.

More thoughts on 7x17 "Born-Again Identity". So apparently I really love this episode, because every time I see it I have MORE THOUGHTS. Not inspired by my computer's welfare this time, haha.

Question: Why would Lucifer resort to lame crap like megaphones and firecrackers?

Speculative Answer:

( Sam and Dean, and childhood, and Lucifer. 7x14/7x17 )

Hell is not about experiencing what is beyond the human threshold of, well, experience, or even imagination (which, let's face it, is not actually boundless). It's about twisting what's already there. Taking away the home you might find in memory and making it something to which you can never return.