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dean spiderfucker winchester

7x06 + 13x20
free fall
One of my favorite things about SPN is, having spent my entire adult life watching it, if I'm feeling an emotion there's probably an episode for it. This week's mood is 7x06+13x20. What would be ideal here is if I had time to watch both eps and feel Seen but AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

Also, some idiot in this house keeps doing laundry in hot water during the evening, which means I haven't had water pressure nor hot water to bathe in, nor wash dishes in, for days. Today there was a power outage due to snow and ice on the power lines that affected, no joke, like nine houses. Maybe half a block. And what was dead center? MY HOUSE. I'm half convinced there's a bunch of train tracks in a Devil's Trap pattern and this dumb house is at the center of it. Starting seven days from the end of next month (lol) my rent is going up, and boy, I'm so thrilled to pay even more to live here.

I could tell myself, well. Technically, in the first house I lived in in this dumb state, I was paying more in rent and didn't have a washing machine and did all my laundry by hand in the tub or sink.

On the other hand, at that first house there would always be enough hot water/water pressure to take a shower, so. Tradeoffs.

Song Rec: "Back From the Edge" by James Taylor
You know how sometimes you hear a song play and you're immediately arrested and just like, "Excuse me, but I need to go weep about Sam Winchester by myself for a moment"?

That's what this song is like for me:

I'm mostly thinking S4 and S8 Sam with a little bit of pre-series/S2, S3, and S11 mixed in. The connections I was making are almost painfully literal, but I think that's only bound to happen when what happens in the show is literally demons, literally Hell, literally demon blood, etc., haha. That second stanza feels really Sam and Dean to me--all the worst parts of their relationship, especially in terms of the way Sam felt during a lot of S4 and S8. And because the thing that alerted me to this song as a Sam song as it was playing was making the connection to demon blood, I feel like applying the back-from-Hell verses would make sense on its face, but I think I'd really prefer to keep them with Sam. There's the literal realm of Hell, and then there's the hell Sam found that summer.

What really makes this as a Sam song for me, though, is the chorus, which names the speaker as "the boy who would reach for the stars." Maybe those stars were a stable home, or Stanford, or Jess; fireworks on the Fourth of July; stars as seen from the hood of the Impala; or maybe the stars were angels, falling. But these stars have always been this idea that the world is worth saving, life is worth living, happiness is worth chasing, and goodness is worth being, no matter how perilously difficult it is in practice or how profoundly stupid you feel for believing in that, or how at odds your own existence seems to be with such a reality.

Saaaaaaaaam. <3333333333333333333333333333

You can take my home, you can take my clothes
You can take the drugs I have that nobody knows
You can take my watch, you can take my phone
You can take all I've got 'til I'm skin and bone

They don't like my lines, they don't like my songs
Except in karaoke when they're singing along
Did you see them build me up? Watch me tear myself down
With a smile on my face, I dug my grave in the ground
We all make mistakes, we're so quick to judge
It's hard to forgive when we hold onto a grudge

I don't want control, I can dig my own hole
I can make my bed and I can lie in it cold
'Cause I don't need heat, I've been burnin' in hell
But now I'm back with my own story to tell

Back from the edge
Back from the dead
Back before demons took control of my head
Back to the start
Back to my heart
Back to the boy who would reach for the stars

Rec: "Motel 69" by Tag Christof
everything ends
I just read a lovely, rumination by Tag Christof (the photographer behind @americaisdead on Tumblr and Instagram). I wouldn't say it necessarily says anything, but it evokes a mood and a bowl of swimming thoughts that, as all good things do, eventually loop back around to Supernatural and what I love so much about it. <3
"[T]he vast majority of charming old motel signs still standing across the U.S. and Canada demarcate outdated lodgings that, considering their one-star TripAdvisor ratings, shabby bathrooms and bad wifi, few fussy middle-class travelers would actually be willing to spend a night in. Instead, these liminal places are collected in snapshots and posted across social media by people eager to co-opt a little analog-era authenticity. Alas, places like the Crossroads Motel have no use for Instagram fans when that notoriety does not translate to more bookings. And we all know that most people worried about looking authentic on social media aren’t about to actually sleep somewhere with busted wifi, 3 fuzzy TV channels and terrible coffee.

This recent fetishization of the motel as hip retro symbol also belies its widely misunderstood role as one powerful catalyst in the development of our disastrously car-centric urbanism, the homogenizing business of franchising and the dominance of mass marketing—all of which have been (rightly or wrongly) singled out by generations of social critics for ostensibly destroying America/dooming humanity in one way or another. Rather than being quaint time capsules from an era of innocence, motels were always products of ruthless capitalism, replete with cutthroat land speculation, countless failed upstarts, corporate profiteering, and lowest-common-denominator marketing.

Still, the motel was truly a democratizing force. Innovations such as those welcoming signs, free parking, and corporate protocols that at least in theory welcomed every paying guest regardless of class, education or race helped make highway travel safer, more accessible and more inclusive than the downtown hotels, tourist camps or family-owned guest houses that predated them.
Read the whole piece, complete with selections of Christof's evocative photography, on Medium!

One of these things is not like the others...
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Back in the Saddle Again
gumby girl
Just dropping in to say that 6x12's "Back in the Saddle Again" music cue for the mid-season "Road So Far" is extremely underrated.

I don't generally rewatch 6x12 on purpose but I value S6 (and especially the first half of it) to an extreme degree and this song just popped up on the radio and I was instantaneously, powerfully, somewhat painfully transported right back into the middle of S6 asjal;skfjasl;kfjak;. <33333333333333333

8x06 "Southern Comfort"
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This is definitely an episode where, when I started watching, I was definitely like "uh, the what?" because I think I've actually only seen 8x06-8x10 or so once before, and that was in 2012. But this is the vengeful spirit possession magic penny Confederate soldier episode! (Did you know a spectre is different from a ghost? Bobby sure did, apparently.)

Also, Garth is in this episode, and it's the one where we first learn he's taken on a role as the "New Bobby." Also, he went to college, and dental school, and was briefly a dentist, and killed the tooth fairy, and also does Civil War reenactments "once a year, every year." Thinking back, I do vaguely remember that dentist thing, though I'd definitely forgotten about it. I'd also forgotten about his role as New Bobby--it makes me wonder what he thought about Sam's setup for his Cone World recruits.

(I guess after Michael was locked away in Dean's mental storage closet, someone had to drive back to Kansas City to get the Impala and free Garth from the trunk. With Michael out of the picture, I suppose we can assume the effects of his Grace were neutralized and Garth went back to normal... But lol how long did Garth have to spend in the trunk? D:)

I just realized that I actually love S8 because because the Big Bad of S8 isn't Naomi, or the Trials, or whatever else is packed in here. It's S7. The Big Bad is S7. The whole S7. Amazing.Collapse )


Made even better by the fact that that dopey car on the far right, while poorly rendered, does seem to resemble Jeff Gordon's

Chevy Impala.

Eyyyyyyyyyyy! ;)

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Though clearly they didn't drive straight to Iowa, because if they were headed to the Pacific there's no real reason they would. It's still an interesting trip, though, because we do know some things:

1) I'm reasonably sure last weeks' ep ended at night, but it appears that they did not opt to stay with Mary at Donna's cabin. They just started driving, but didn't drive far enough away from Minnesota that Iowa wasn't "on the way" a full day later.

2) They got a motel somewhere to sleep, but when Sam's in the doorway it looks like artificial light coming in, so there's probably an interior hall. It could be any time of day in that scene. Which is important, because they have to drive long enough for it to be light at the rest stop when Sam calls Castiel (again) but dark for more driving. I think it'd make sense if they left MN at like 5am, randomly slept through some late morning part of the day, drove, and had it get dark at like 6pm, as it do. Maybe they hit Weather and didn't want to sleep in the car when it was -19, -50 with wind chill. Or didn't want to drive in freezing rain. And then they have to sit around in Iowa for another 12 hours before they can arrange to meet with the bereft twin. (I know the weather didn't look chilly but it's about to be 35 degrees today and it was -35 a few days ago, so like. Anything can happen.)

3) I'm also willing to bet that "on the way" does not mean what the Winchesters think it means. "On the way" is like, driving from Minnesota to the Dakotas and then thinking, "well, I mean, Iowa is still in the same timezone. It is closer to us now than we are to the Pacific. It's on the way!"

4) Winchester perceptions of/experiences of time (especially weird, cutting room floor time) is my faaaavorite thing! Especially if that weird time is spent driving or motel-ing.

Other thoughts that I'm really into right now:

1) They can't just drop their box anywhere in the Pacific, because James Cameron is out there in this little discovery pod, discovering things, etc. So due diligence would really be dropping the box in the deepest part they could find (which, honestly, would either mean a LOT of time at sea or flying to like, Guam and... still spending a lot of time at sea)--the Mariana Trench! Which is, incidentally, where Crowley had to get the First Blade from. Hmmmmmm.

2) Angels/demons can clearly take their vessels all over the place without consequence, but like. I think it'd be interesting if Michael could keep Dean as his vessel alive for all eternity at the bottom of the ocean BUT also had to heed some of the laws of physics. Like, what happens to a body (kept alive) with a Pacific Ocean's worth of pressure on it? What happens to a body (that can't die) when it quickly runs out of oxygen and then has no choice but to breathe carbon dioxide (remember, in this circumstance the lungs haven't collapsed due to pressure)? Does the presence of angelic grace force rapid-scale mutation? Does the lung tissue begin to thrive on new gasses? Does Dean's body become a new life form on Earth?

There are bacterias that 'breathe' gases other than oxygen, but the metabolic reactions aren't as swift as with oxygen. But maybe when you're facing down eternity, swift isn't what you're going for. Maybe when you're at the bottom of the ocean--deeper, even, than the glacial behemoths of the prehistoric deep; deeper, even, than glaciers--swift isn't what you're going for.

Maybe you're more angel than you ever were before, in the deep. Becoming something else. Something slow. Something eternal.

free fall
I've only seen the first 12 minutes but now it's bedtime and I've had a splitting headache for HOURS but ohhhhhhhhh my




S15 looks pretty good on me. ;)
I was watching a livestream of a NASCAR drafting test on Twitter just now and saw The CW as a trending topic. I was like, why on earth would The CW be trending??? And then I was like, OMG 2019-20 RENEWALS???

My heart rate leapt, let me tell you. XD

Thank you, CW. <3333

My favorite SPN art in my decade of this show. <3____<3
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THIS IS SO COOL. I would love to be able to buy a big stack of vintage SPN postcards. DDD: That's the kind of tasteful merch I'd be aaaaaaaaallll about!

The artist is Rachel Sinclair, and she has a ton of wonderful pieces on her portfolio, both fandom and original. Please check them out!!!

gumby girl
This week I've been really sad and overwhelmed and anxious and the most complete oblivion I could imagine was watching this 9-hour Youtube video of America's Next Top Model (bless whoever uploaded this).


OH MY GOD. XDDDD This is the last place I was imaginging a SPNervention but look!!! There he is!!!!

Thanks for coming to hang out for 4 seconds, JP!! <33333 Aaaah <333333333

This absolutely made my day.

edit, a few seconds later:

JAred omg. I love him.

where&#39;s perry
Pacific Ocean: Ah yes, come to mama. <3_<3 I'm 3000 miles away but you know. What could possibly go wrong?


I had a very cozy time last night! <3 I actually didn't need all the blankets I owned--just the five layers I was wearing, my sleeping bag, one fuzzy blanket, and my IKEA comforter. It was 13 outside, 20 in the car, and TOASTY WARM in my cocoon. <333

Except now of course I need to continue the experiments. Would it be possible to be comfortable in the car with just the sleeping bag and the car blankets/towels? Would it be possible to use this setup I had last night comfortably in a tent?

What modifications would I need to make in order to make it comfortable in a tent with things I would reasonably take camping (e.g. NOT MY BED COMFORTER)? Should I finally invest in a better sleeping bag?

Is there any point at which I could make it comfortable to sleep with materials I backpacked out? (The nearest state park only has hike-in winter camping, 7 miles from the parking lot.)

This morning I ate my little cherry pie (delightful), more of the cheese popcorn (omg), and tonight I get to watch 14x11. <3333333 Happy birthday, Dean! YOU MADE IT. <3

b i r t h d a y
The Oke Doke cheese popcorn has been acquired.

A tiny 50 cent cherry pie has also been acquired.

And I know what I'm gonna do for Dean's birthday tomorrow!!!

This morning it took my half an hour to break through the quarter-inch of ice my entire car was encased in, only to discover there was too much ice on the roof to get the clips for the bike rack in, so I ended up just flattening the backseat and shoving the bike in.

But!!! Now that the car is flat I figure I might as well lay a bed out in back and camp inside it. I mean, it's halfway there already!

One of my 2019 resolutions was to camp at least once twelve months out of the year, but I'm busy and it's cold and I don't have the right gear for the occasion, so I figure camping inside my car behind the house will count. XDD I want to say it'll be a good gear test, but I know I don't have the gear for 13-degree weather, even inside a car instead of a tent, so I plan to bring every blanket I own. If it gets above 30 ever again, I'll try it with just the gear that's already in the car.

Weird cheese popcorn, 50 cent cherry pie, and a night with my good baby beluga. Can't think of a better way to celebrate Dean Winchester's 4 0. <3333333

Big Announcement
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HellO! I love Dean Winchester!


infamati et obliterati: "Crooked Company" - 14x10 tag
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Not all marks can be seen. Michael has a light touch.

Read more...Collapse )

t-24 hours 'til winter hiatus is no more
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Detroit Classic Rock has played "Carry on Wayward Son" at least once while I've been driving EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE PAST WEEK.

It Knows.

"I like him. He says oke doke."

These sit somewhere on the floor of the uncanny valley between "appalling" and "delicious" and I am 100% certain Dean would enjoy them. My plan for Dean's birthday this year is to eat these.

As luck would have it, January 24 happens to be a Thursday, so I guess I'll eat them while watching 14x11!

I kind of feel like I should do something more festive, but at the same time lol eating a bag of Oke Doke cheese popcorn seems exactly the appropriate levels of birthday celebration in the Winchester household. If it's not an actively horrible thing, then it's gold stars for everyone!

"Yeah, well I’m a Zelda for life so. What are you, burning sage down there?"
I spent the holidays in California. After New Years I rode back with my sister to her home in Santa Cruz (her home for the next five months, in any case!) to spent a few days with her.

On one of those days, we played Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for 11 straight hours and absolutely never got bored of it. It was amazing. <3 Like a summer day in middle school.

Which is all to say I love Zelda very much and wish it could be a regular presence in my life, even though it absolutely can't for all manner of reasons, probably the greatest of which being I don't live anywhere near my sister and we grew up playing this single-player game with two players and it doesn't feel complete to play it any other way.

BUT, owing to this renaissance of Zelda love, I came across this post, and it is absolutely 100% the model for how I enjoy approaching fannishness for any canon:

[link to original post]


Which is, frankly, the entire spiritual core of Zelda. <3

What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it or accept that there is more to the world than you think. Perhaps it is really a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things.

- Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of The Legend of Zelda (among many other hats)