free fall

fandom encephalitis

So, as you've surely gathered over the years here, I have almost no self-control nor sense of moderation when it comes to SPN. If I'm in it, that's all I really want in my life. After binging my way through most of S8-most of 10 over the holidays and catching the first ep or two we had in January, I managed to successfully wean myself off SPN for job market/dissertation reasons. (Though I often still pined for them.)

Now that I've defended my dissertation (though I still need to actually file, pfft. And have been psychically unable to open the doc again and copyedit as of yet), I will be working a normal human work schedule, and so 100% have time to catch up on my S15 tags and watch the two most recent eps. But at the same time, I know that if I watch them I will JUST WANT ALL SPN ALL THE TIME and I kind of feel like I need to take this opportunity to avail myself of other things that have been on my list, before I get deep back in with the Winchesters. (Especially since we're currently hiatusing indefinitely in the midst of, you know, global pandemic.)

But like, I miss them. But I know that if I jump in I won't get to enjoy rewatching The Expanse, or finishing my Cars WIP from 2017, or watching other TV people keep recommending but I've never seen, like The Terror. This morning I finished a book about the Sri Lankan civil war and enjoyed it way more right now than I had when I was reading it at the same time as I was binging S9/10, because all I really wanted was SPN, not the Sri Lankan civil war. XP Even though it's legitimately a fantastic book.

This post is really just me pointing out to myself how dumb it is that I'm subjecting myself to this deprivation because I am unable to appropriately manage my relationship to SPN. I COULD LITERALLY HAVE IT IF I WEREN'T SUCH A DOOFUS, OMG. The rest of this post is just me waiting for my hard-boiled eggs to cool so I can make egg salad.

Okay, but also, has anyone watched The Expanse because I adooooooooore it and if you've seen it pls say hi! (I feel like bratfarrar might enjoy it.)

welcome to the end

I successfully defended my dissertation today. ♥

Sam and Dean are in the acknowledgements:

Thank you to S.W. and D.W., who have seen me through all of my adulthood, not only to graduate school but through it. You’ve often served as mirror to my misery. You get it. You are a constant reminder that unbridled passion and deep love will always exist inside me, no matter how little of me it seems is left.

(As is finchandsparrow!!! Thank you SO much for the absolutely delicious and healthsome food. I'm still coveting the oranges and consuming them slowly, in these pandemic-ridden times. <33333)
free fall


Friends, friends. I'm about to lose my mind.

Like half the world and most of the United States, NASCAR is not currently in session on account of COVID-19. It probably won't be back for a long time.

You know what always comes back, though? Yeah, you guessed it.

THEY REPOSTED JA'S ENGINE CALL AGAIN LOL. YOU KNOW, THE ONE FROM MID-OCTOBER 2019. The dozens of people who've given calls since? Don't know 'em. XDDDD



AAAAAAH I'M A MONSTER. So in like 2016, I was driving down Route 66, and I found these AZ license plate keychains. I was just idly looking at them, but discovered one of them had Dean on it--which I thought was just wild, because it not that common a name. So I bought the Sam and Dean ones and have had them on my keys ever since.

Today I discovered that at some point yesterday, Dean departed this world, leaving only a twisted metal keyring.




How long do you think it will take Sam to notice, if I just take a Sharpie and write "Dean" on the tag the mechanic shop put on there the last time I was in?

EDIT: Eyyyy, look who I found at the bottom of the car! REUNITED.

gumby girl


I dunno what it is about mid-February, but I've gotten like three comments on fics in the last 24 hours and that is super exciting. <333333333 I generally don't get three comments on days when I post fic, so it feels pretty wild! Especially since the last 24 hours have been very 15x10-esque lololol... Except my car is perfect, thank you. Of course, when you spend 2019 spending more money than you initially paid for it and many hours on it, it had DAMN WELL BETTER BE. (Anything for you, bab.)

Happy Valentine's Day~ 🥰
free fall

(no subject)

Today Canadian radio was playing Five Finger Death Punch's cover of "Bad Company," and when I switched to Detroit radio, and they were playing Bad Company's "Bad Company." All the Bad Company. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Today is the NASCAR Clash, which is a short exhibition race to kick off Speedweeks, which culminates in the Daytona 500. And what do they play during the pitstop?? Kenny Rogers's "The Gambler." 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 HI HELLO 15x11.

I love

s u p e r n a t u r a l
free fall


"Just the first scene with Sam and Dean in it," I said, "just a little taste."

--As I proceeded to then watch all of 15x11 except for the cold open, which I will probably forget I haven't actually seen in exactly the same way I still haven't gone back to the cold open for 15x07 or literally half of 15x06. I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU ONE DAY, I PROMISE. Aahhhhhh

I was, for once in my life, so focused on work that I forgot SPN existed and therefore did no have to try to focus on work while also pining for SPN. My plan was to just roll with that and try to forget SPN existed for as long as possible.

But then Dean Winchester showed up at my apartment in Palo Alto in the middle of the night, lookin' for a beer, and I was just like

free fall

S15 Except the Entire Season is Set in Michigan: Another Episode VI

"S15 But in Michigan" has reached its midseason, where it's time for a funny, plot-light episode.

(But it's also secretly losing its mind because THAT CAPTION. There is some real cabin fever desperation to that. And I'll note that although it's February it's only been "properly" winter for like, one day this year so far. It's just dark.)

Like, the other day I had a meeting in Detroit and I swear to you, the second I hit the city limits the sky went three shades darker and the snow started coming down harder and wetter. The SECOND I hit the city limits!

I am currently sitting in O'Hare, on my way to Colorado Springs for the most important 2.5 days of my life to date. Please send, uh, everything. Thank you!