How often can you say you have a rec post for "and then Sam was a rutabaga"?

Fic Recs for People Who Are Not the Winchesters, and for the Winchesters When They Are Not Themselves

I have a confession to make. I do not recall how vocal I've been on this front here, but I am a huge
huge
HUGE
fan. Of Sam being turned into non-vocal and/or non-sentient objects and animals. It's fucking adorable, okay! It is. You don't believe me yet, but it is. Surely you recall Knight Rider!Sam from 5x08. And I'm responsible for tarantula!Wincest, hedgehog!Sam, hamburger!Sam, Pog!Sam, toaster!Sam, big pretzel!Sam, rutabaga!Sam, cereal!Sam, wedding cake!Sam, and--one of my personal favorites--endtable!Sam. I guess technically I'm also responsible for ham sandwich!Dean, too (thanks, dayadhvam_triad! XP), but today I wanted to share with you the vast, great treasures of transfiguration!Sam-dom. Because it is just THAT CUTE. SO CUTE. IMMEASURABLY CUTE.

Behold!



1. untitled by anonymous (not sure if you wanted to be named?)
Genre: crack, horror, awesome
Characters: pie!Sam, Dean
Word Count: ~1000
Warnings: cannibalism, sorta.
Summary: As Sam Winchester awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a marionberry pie.

In which Dean has his brother and eats him, too. I just. Pie. Kafka. Sam. Sort-of Cannibalism. How can you go wrong?

2. Contentment is a pearl of great price by ravelqueen
Genre: crack, horror, awesome
Characters: python!Sam, Dean, Bobby
Word Count: ~3000
Warnings: n/a
Summary: Sam is a snake. It goes downhill from there.

This fic was written for my prompt during this year's spn_summergen. <333333 On the kink front, it delivers and then some. But there is so much more to this: with the Apocalypse nigh and the preternatural volleying for reservations in, well, your body, losing your self-concept is a terrifying, terrifying thing. This fic made me smile and coo, and then it made me rigid with abject horror. Such a pleasure!

3. Blue, blue waters below by yanyann
Genre: crack, horror, awesome
Characters: Sam-on-shrooms, whale!Dean
Word Count: ~1700
Warnings: drug use
Summary: Sam’s just now found it out: Dean is actually a whale. He doesn’t know how that works exactly (yet!), and isn’t in a hurry to find out either. Oh, and they're working a case.

Okay, so. I actually prompted transfiguration!Sam for spn_summergen. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE (AND ELATION) when not one, but two, were actually written for that challenge! This is the most adorable drug trip ever, d'awww. I mean, come on. Dean is a WHALE.

4. Everything I Know About Marine Biology I Learned from My Brother by kroki_refur
Genre: crack, awesome
Characters: marine (often invertebrate)!Sam, Dean
Word Count: ~2000
Warnings: n/a
Summary: “You’d better be a freakin lobster tomorrow, though,” he adds, scrolling down to feeding habits. “Or I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Continuing the marine trend, here's a fic from days long past, recced to me by the ever-enabling sistabro! The dialogue in this is fantastic, and oh my god. Have I expressed my love for marine invertebrates here yet? No? WELL. THE SENTIMENT IS LONG OVERDUE.

5. Body Impulses by princess_aleera
Genre: crack, smut, omg cuteness
Characters: tarantula!Sam, Dean, Gabriel, Castiel
Word Count: ~2600
Warnings: crack, porn (not with the tarantula; the actual fic is Gabriel/Dean)
Summary: "Sam's fine," Gabriel blows him off. "He's having a great time. He's not even biting you."

The fic that started it all. Admittedly I feel a little bit odd obsessing about tarantula!Sam here, because he's not the intended focus of the fic, but WHAT CAN I SAY HE STOLE MY HEART AND RAN WITH IT. ON ALL EIGHT LEGS.

....Actually. The other non-Winchester recs that would have gone into this post are all sad and depressing on some level. Plus this is getting long. So! NEXT TIME, SAD DEPRESSING FICS ABOUT ENTITIES WHO ARE NOT THE WINCHESTERS. Followed by YET ANOTHER DEAN H/C REC POST, WHAT A TWIST. Followed by, I don't know--the "everything road_rhythm writes" rec post? XP