Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

ice is also great, and would suffice

This is the part where I would start in on the Grand Funk Railroad, but "I'm in love with [the figment of someone else's imagination] that I'm talking about / I'm in love with the [figment of someone else's imagination] I can't live without" just doesn't have the same ring as the original lyrics. In any case, I am having one of those weeks where like. Everything is just o m g, s u p e r n a t u r a l *_______________* for whatever reason. It's quite a nice feeling, because when I am upset with either Sam or Dean (or as was the case a few weeks ago, both, XD) and their poor life choices I am less inclined to do terrible things to them--like write fan fiction. Because then it feels more vindictively petty when terrible things happen to them in some fic, rather than feeling more like, 'lol sorry I just think your misery is pretty. It's out of love, I promise!'

Though, there's something I've been thinking about lately, and I was wondering if it was similar for any of you. I've been kinda-sorta poking at this one fic for ever and ever and ever. I mentioned it here earlier, I think with the in-utero name "that fucking seal fic" or "that seal fucking fic" or something like that. Anyway, it is basically just this ridiculous conflation of a bunch of things I really, really like: There is Dean. There is Walt and Roy. There is California. There is belated reception of phone calls. There is some very lame soup. There is the OCEAN. There is H/C. There is more H/C. There is C offered by unlikely/abnormal sources more than once. And if you know me at all, outside of the dire lack of Sam being a cuttlefish and the lack of fence-jumping, this list is basically a special chocolate box customized for meeeeee.

But I do not like it--even when on a normal day mention of crappy soup or whatever wins insta-gratification. And I've thought about this, and I think what it is is that there are too many 'I adore this on principle!' aspects to it. And so rather than work them, some part of me is just like--well, it's there! That's all you need, right? YOU ARE EASILY SATISFIED, I KNOW YOU ARE. And I think the issue here is that part of me totally, totally is. XD

The other part is just like, Yeah, no.

I think I have the most fun when I'm writing about things I don't actually like. Not in a 100% kind of way, obviously. Otherwise I'd write fic for like. Adam Sandler movies, or something. But my favorite writing experiences have been with ideas I've had or prompts I've taken that aren't necessarily totally in line with my interests, or are about things that have honestly never crossed my mind. I feel like I'm more inclined to think more clearly about what's going into it and what I want it to be at the end of the road. Which I guess is the long way of saying that when I'm writing only about all of my favorite things ever I have both no standards and no self-discipline. GOOD TO KNOW.

What about you guys? What kind of ideas do you run with, or what prompts do you tend to choose? Have you had similar realizations, or ones utterly contrary to this?

I think what I will do next is write about something vile and outside of my desires and see how that goes. Luckily, as I said at the beginning of this post, I am not currently side-eyeing anyone, so I can do ANYTHING I WANT TO THEM.

...Logic is a thing that exists somewhere out there; don't ask me to find it. XP
Tags: fandom: spn, i use lj the way other people use tumblr, kalliel is a creeping creeper, writing

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