Genre: gen, character study, horror, angst, hurt/comfort
Character: Dean (peripheral Sam, Alistair)
Word Count: ~2500
Notes: This is sort of a multi-media piece--kalliel and vie_dangerouse wrote it, Kalliel did the graphics, and Kalliel, Vie_Dangerouse, and maypoles selected the musical accompaniment. ♥ to everyone who helped out with this; we finally have a final product!
This character study covers Dean's development in seasons, 4, 5, 6, and 7.
My Body is a Cageart | words | music
† This is a Dean Winchester character study, spanning seasons 4-7. It is not a fic, nor art, nor a fanmix, though it incorporates elements of all of these. It was written by kalliel & vie_dangerouse, and Photoshopped by kalliel. Musical selections courtesy of kalliel, vie_dangerouse, & maypoles. ♥
Music is available in a .zip file at SendSpace.
Sometimes you can see yourself. You’ll glance to your sideview mirror and it won’t give you the road. Instead it's your face, your jaw, your lips (and how long have they been that exhausted shade of blue?). I. There should be a word for death. A word for the moment your chest comes undone and your heart keeps beating long past your last shot at viability; a word for the moment you end.
I. There should be a word for death. A word for the moment your chest comes undone and your heart keeps beating long past your last shot at viability; a word for the moment you end.
There's a word for Sam, the first time he sees you: Killing intent. And the second time--regret. (At first you assume it's just relief still mixed up with the knife he's got in his hand, wires crossing, some kind of mistake. But by November you've started to doubt.)
|The Arcade Fire|
"My Body is a Cage"
I'm standing on the stage
of fear and self-doubt
it's a hollow play
but they'll clap anyway
"Dirt in the Ground"
'cause hell is boiling over
and heaven is full
we're chained to the world
and we all gotta pull
and we're all gonna be
just dirt in the ground
II. You bite your tongue, swallow blood instead of spitting it out, and realize: what this really is is just taking pleasure in other people's pain. This must be why BDSM is a thing.
This must be why BDSM is a thing.
|Black Cake Betty|
"The Spine Song"
they stole your shoes and then brought you to
the caverns of their teeth
oh kind sir
please let me say goodbye
your soul ripped from your stomach
you gave an awful cry
|Black Rebel Motorcycle Club|
"Beat the Devil's Tattoo"
there is no peace here war is never cheap dear
love will never meet it it just gets sold for parts
you cannot fight it all the world denies it
open up your eyelids and let your demons run
|Bachman Turner Overdrive|
"Let It Ride"
you can't see the mornin', but I can see the light
while you've been out runnin' I've been waitin' half the night
baby you want the forgivin' kind and that's just not my style
"God's Gonna Cut You Down"
you can run on for a long time
run on for a long time, run on for a long time
sooner or later God'll cut you down
III. You're at the point where you could pet a kitten with one hand and blow its brains out with the other. Hey, the thing was black, and everyone knows that black cats are bad mojo. You don't need any more of that.
|The Black Keys|
"I'm Not the One"
I've been tried
and I've been tested
I was born tired
I never got rested
if you’d only, if you’d only say yes
whether you will's anybody’s guess
God only God knows I'm trying my best
but I’m just so tired of this loneliness
|Linkin Park [Adele cover]|
"Rolling in the Deep"
throw your soul through every open door
count your blessings to find what you're looking for
turn my sorrow into treasured gold
you'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown
"Wish You Were Here"
did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
hot ashes for trees?
hot air for a cool breeze?
cold comfort for change?
and did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year
running over the same old ground
what have we found? The same old fears
(You can disappear it in a breath.)
let him shoot me down and let him call me off
take it from his whisper, you're not that tough
it's the blaze across your nightgown
it's the phone's ring
|The Black Keys|
"So He Won't Break"
gone like the wind
and the state it put him in
he's crazy from the pain
and can't get hurt again
and if he ever falls
I'd feel sorry for us all
who stole today? who stole tomorrow?
and left me with nothing
with nothing but doom and sorrow
but doom and sorrow
I know the name of the fire thief
|Mumford & Sons|
"Little Lion Man"
you're not as brave as you were at the start
rate yourself and rake yourself,
take all the courage you have left
wasted on fixing all the problems
that you made in your own head
but it was not your fault but mine
and it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
didn't I, my dear?
didn't I, my...
V. Your brother is playing Siamese braintwins with the devil, and all you want to do is sleep. You haven't done it properly in years.
|Band of Skulls|
"I Know What I Am"
I got the hit that you know damn well
I got the feeling that I'm underneath
I know what I am
they know what they are
so let me be
|Ryan Adams & The Cardinals|
"Let it Ride"
I wanna see you tonight
where they moved the drive-in theater
where I left the car that I can't find but I still got the keys to
let it ride let it ride easy down the road
let it rock me in the arms of stranger's angels until it brings me home
|Christine Collister [Tom Waits cover]|
"Dirt in the Ground"
what does it matter, a dream of love
or a dream of lies?
we're all gonna be in the same place
when we die
|Peter Gabriel [The Arcade Fire cover]|
"My Body is a Cage"
my body is a cage
we take what we're given
just because you've forgotten
that don't mean you're forgiven