Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

When I finish typing this entry, it's go time.

I've been--and am still--on life lockdown, trying to write my thesis. But I can't. It's just making me so nervous. I stare at the page and I don't know what to say. And it's not just your regular aversion to getting words on the page; I'm legitimately psyching myself out here. I've already told myself that its artistic merits don't matter yet; its argument doesn't even need to be all that clear yet. All I need is a full draft by 1 May (keyword being DRAFT!). I've already told myself that I know what I'm writing about; I have all the information I need. All my ideas are swirling around somewhere. Doesn't matter; I'm still terrified. Generally I turn to Show for assistance with all my personal problems, haha, but their sad little Winchester faces are so very distracting, and at this juncture not particularly helpful.

So I'm gonna take a few more deep breaths here. I'm going to stop finding fascinating alternative projects, like laundry and dishes and awful tabloid websites (Lindsay Lohan missed her flight to DC! Snookie is pregnant! Jessica Alba is 30!). And I'm going to play this song as loud as I possibly can:

"I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters ... For those ten seconds or less, I'm free."

Helpful tips and/or suggestion welcome! Please no encouragement--I know that sounds weird but truth be told I'm already sick of it, and I cannot handle disappointing even more of it right now.

Big ♥ for you all.
Tags: academia, americana, don't you cry no more, fandom: misc., hell on wheels, i can't watch tv like a normal person, timetimetime, trufax, unapologetic hit-and-run, wwdd: what would diesel do?, you can't take the sky from me

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