May 29th, 2018

free fall

13x23: Blurry Winchesters Edition

The aesthetic of many SPN finales and mine don't tend to match up that often--the sudden desire to use zany effects, the orchestral bombast, all of that--and for me 13x23 had a lot of the flavors of 7x23, 10x23, and 11x23 for me (probably others but these are the finales that stand out). And like, that's fine. You are always welcome to do you, SPN. XD

In 13x23, My favorite scenes were Jack's (ALL OF THEM) and, actually, Lucifer's.

My favorite aspect of the finale was the insinuation that a fair bit of time had passed between the end of 13x22 and the start of 13x23: Bobby was talking about his refugees settling into town (can you imagine Lebanon, KS with 30 new inhabitants all at once??? what kind of weird cult moved in??). The fire of his hoo-hah speech about going back to save the homeland and honor their fallen brethren and save the rest is now tempered by the notion of finding lives, right now, for these people he's brought over, right now. He's making googly eyes at Mary. He and the others are falling out of a plot-driven narrative about the Apocalypse and Michael's fiery rule and heroes and war and into a different kind of life, where the plot, the whole plot, is to live.

This piece of the finale was sort of like an anti-finale, if finales are meant to culminate and lives are meant to follow heroic arcs. It plays foil to the ridiculousness that is about to go down in the second half (and that second half is not at all shy about being ridiculous! go big if you can't go home, MAN). And like, I don't doubt SPN is very much aware of its bombast in this bit. I can respect that. XDDD

And sure, eventually we learn that Lucifer is actually the one who killed Maggie, but he did it in such a human way--just like he dug his own hole when summoning Death all those years ago, his own hole with his own shovel and his own hands--it's worse, somehow, than death by monster or angel. Darker. That was my favorite part of the episode.

But I'm also an unredeemable ho for the Winchesters, so let's talk about their blurry faces and HOW AMAZING THEY ARE--even when embroiled in ridiculous things--anyway!

I'm getting ahead of myself with this cap, but since the first scene I wanna talk about isn't anywhere near as tantalizing, here's an out of context shot of Sam's neck above the cut. For zest. XD

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free fall

8x01 "We Need To Talk About Kevin"

I started this rewatch so long ago (e.g. in between S9 and S10, OMG) I feel like I need to start with S1 again, but in the interest of finishing, ever, I'm picking up where I left off, saving people, hunting things, the family business!

Usually when Dean waves guns in civilians' faces I'm like, okay, they don't really deserve that kind of trauma, but I'll be honest, these kids might have.

They backpacked in... a gigantic frame tent? And camp chairs? I applaud their back strength but that's just zany. I'd say they backpacked the 12 miles from the road to a pre-existing shelter, but if that tent were sitting out there all exposed it wouldn't be so clean. Also, they left their packs outside the tent??? On the ground??? In bear country??? They're lucky it was only a half-deranged post-Purgatory guy who found them.

And they left their coals exposed and burning, unattended. >.>

I'd say maybe they drove in, hence all the extra gear, but if that were the case then Dean wouldn't just stolen their car, right? I doubt fresh out of Purgatory he was taking the time to decide whether or not leaving them without a vehicle out there might kill them.

But maybe in his frenzy the notion of transportation actually hadn't occurred to him. I could totally see that. He's on a mission and he's spent the last year on foot so blinders on, he's just plowing.

It takes him four days to hitchhike from Maine to Clayton, Lousiana, which is a 30-hour/1800 mile drive if you don't have to hitchhike. I wonder what those four days were like--I feel like hitchhiking requires you to be vaguely social; maybe not like, a lot, but more than Dean's had reason to be in a year. Or more, really, since all through S7 Dean and Dean's life were not exactly social. It must have been such a behavioral curve--though probably anyone willing to pick Dean up would've had some major cojones on them. They probably figured he'd just gotten out of prison.

But hey, Dean thanks this guy, and they hold a brief convo even after he's out of the car, so he's handling it.

And why hitchhike, rather than boost someone's car? I guess if you don't have the money to pay for gas for your stolen car, this is the way you gotta do. Especially since the beginning of S8 would've been 2012, and man, gas was like $4 a gallon!

Also, throughout this whole montage they play Styx's "Man in the Wilderness" and I'm in LOVE.

Guys, I haven't even made it to the title card.
fandom text

8x01 "We Need to Talk About Kevin"

All right, all, please don't @ me with your S8 crit! I know, I'm familiar, we did that whole thing in 2012! It's 2018 now and guess whaaaaat


I also understand Dean's rage here. His scene listening to all of Kevin's messages on the phone, and then the amped up ambient noise in that motel room? I love it so much.

This is one of my favorite shots in all of SPN because man, you can feel that motel. You can feel the temperature--the pavement's still hot even though the sun has set and the air is cooling. It's a touch humid. You're sweating and yet you're halfway to a shiver. It's that kind of witching hour. I love the sick orange tinge to the sky, urban light pollution such that this highway wasn't known true darkness, pure darkness, in decades. You pull around the back and the doors open into the backlot--sign facing outward, reading backwards--because the highway's right there. It's right there.

I love how deeply awkward and stilted all Sam and Dean's convos are, except for the ones where they're not talking about anything at all. I love how many shots there are of Sam observing, Sam watching, even as anything he says doesn't help at all. He understands more than he's able to say and he just can't do it. He can't do it.

I love how forthcoming Sam is about Amelia and not hunting yet is silent about any of the context that would have made that make sense. Maybe he knows that he will never make it make sense--not to Dean. Maybe not even to himself. He can't talk about that feeling, what led him there, even as it ghosts everything he does and says in this ep.

I love that Dean does the opposite; he's scarily forthcoming about his feeling, the hurt, the trauma. The jaggedness of Purgatory feeling pure. Even enjoyable. Which he has to know sounds fucked but it's also definitely the only thing that got him through so how can Sam speak against that, huh? And Sam can see it, all of that, written on Dean's body, so there's no point in leaving it out. But he doesn't say jack shit about Benny.

From the looks of it, Dean doesn't even call Sam until he's hitched from Maine all the way to Louisiana. Maybe he tried a couple phones, but he clearly wasn't trying that hard if he stopped before he got an answer. He didn't ask a ride with Sam to Louisiana. Clayton and Kermit are 11 hours from each other yet they still both drove up to almost-Canada northern MONTANA to reunite. That's how much Dean doesn't want to say jack shit about Benny.

Put together, by the end of their first days back together, Sam and Dean have one whole story. Usually that's good enough, since they're together; it's the Sam and Dean story. Barring their very different experiences of all events, there's at least a concrete commonality there. Unfortunately, a story about how it felt to be in Purgatory coupled with the concrete details of what went down in Kermit, TX, doesn't to either of them any good. There's no weaving those. So they don't really have one story; just two halves. (And as we will learn from shattered tablets over the course of the rest of the season, halves are only as good as none.)

[Fic] While You Were Sleeping - gen, Sam (POV), hurt/comfort, early S12

Because sometimes you just want some self-indulgent H/C, and you didn't get to write enough S12 fic during S12. I love writing in the early parts of seasons, because there's a little more space to have Sam and Dean doing, dealing, just kind of floating. <3 Nothing epic, just non sequiturs and mommy issues.

Title: While You Were Sleeping
Genre: gen, hurt/comfort, S12 (around 12x03/12x04)
Characters: Sam (POV), Dean, Mary (in mind if not in body)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2900
Warnings: PTSD (both), alcohol abuse (Dean)
Summary: It’s always better to kill werewolves when they’re wolves. It’s not that you can’t kill them off the cycle, it’s just... It’s better, when they’re wolves. But then Dean gets sick; and then Dean gets sicker. Sometimes there are tradeoffs.

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