January 21st, 2020


Notes to self on 15x06 tag

- the format was an interesting idea but I don't think it will actually work for the fic (I wanted to do something with Sam's stream of consciousness that started with a moment, bled in reverse-chronological order to the precipitating moment, and then slingshot back to the opening scene and restarted in chronological order)

- but the plot (in reverse order) wasn't linear enough/the scenes were too disjointed to make it clear that things were happening in reverse. So I'm thinking just initial moment --> flash backward to revisit precipitating circumstances up to that point. return to initial moment --> continue to end.

- most of the 'precipitating moment' stuff can be condensed. I don't think Dean actually needs to be there for most of it. Maybe most of that out of dialogue and into something more elliptical? Create more distance. I think what solidified this for me was this one scene where Sam and Dean have this whole long convo that was just--I dunno. They didn't need to have it, and so the scene became out of character?? It's hard to explain.

I don't think the dialogue itself was that bad. (Okay, some of it was bad.) And I don't think big ol' conversations are inherently out of character for Sam and Dean. That's kind of what they do--you know, BM Brother Moment, the whole shebang. It's not like they're particularly terse/laconic when they've decided they're going to Have a Conversation. It just didn't feel right.

Hilariously, when I wrote the scene a few weeks ago, I think I already knew that, because there's this point where Sam's thinks to himself, IT'S SO FUCKED UP WE'RE HAVING TALKING ABOUT THIS SO DIRECTLY. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. Which like, I'm actually in favor of "OOC" things happening that aren't supposed to happen, because that's real, especially under duress. I like the idea of Sam wrestling with the idea that they're having an interaction that isn't how their usual interactions with each other go. But I think in this case he's a little too right. XPP You got your wish, Sam! The scene is dead! I'll spare you that one.

Here's the scene, which will maybe clarify what I mean. I'm embarrassed to post this but I'm also embarrassed whenever I post full fics, so I guess the moral is, Post Everything: Collapse )

- Pfff I'm acting like I'm cutting all this chaff and really trying to streamline to only the good stuff but so far am still keeping an entire scene about a Netflix frog documentary just because I can. HEMINGWAY WHOMST??

- Still like the weird/dumb experimental section, though. I think it works, even if it's on the dramatic side, haha. Last scene is good, too, but needs to be tightened up. (And turn the volume up on the stakes a little more.)


I'm not sure when I think I'm going to finish this, though, to say nothing of the eps thereafter. MAYBE LATE MARCH, HAHA. April? Life is really, really catastrophically busy, with far too high a proportion of really intensive, high-stakes, literally-the-entire-course-of-my-life-depends-on-this things to just normal work things. Basically I just waffle between despair, dread, and terror all day, with all three rising to a crescendo until they become nearly unbearable right about now. Which is why I'm typing this here instead of working in my other docs. I wish I owned a soundproof room so I could just screaaaaaaaaaaaaam.