Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

SPN, AKA that one show where fantasy and nightmare are basically synonymous

Hey guys! Guess what! I'm not on a train anymore! Also I'm pretty sure I caught African Sleeping Sickness or something, because I'm exhausted and I've gotten faaar more sleep than I feel like I have, not even including all of the resentful sleeping I did on that train.

I had an excellent weekend I will tell you all about soon, I hope, but SPOILERS it involved a rince1wind, and then a vie_dangerouse, and a lot of other awesome people. :D

While I was on that train I resentfully did not want to do any more work, so I ended up rewatching 8x20 and 2x20... you know, as one does. I guess in retrospect it's an obvious pairing (sort of like the 1x01, 2x20, and 6x01 trifecta), but my god. This vessel cannot contain all of my Dean feelings. I watched 9x01 a bunch of times and have been casually re-visiting S7, which have also resulted in an upsurge of Dean feelings. As these have been largely dormant for the better part of a year, it's nice to have them back, because that means I can go back to appreciating Sam's hair and the way he fixes his tie in that one scene in 3x14 without feeling like I should be out scouring the world for more Dean feelings instead. XD So welcome back, Dean STANism. And welcome back, Sam!love uncomplicated by my resentment toward the incredible number of 8x23 tags/trials-related bunker!fics this summer gifted the world with.

But anyway, 2x20 and 8x20.

2x20 is fucking ridiculous, holy god. XP It's an amaaaazing episode, don't get me wrong, it's just ridiculous!! When they're happy I never know whether to laugh or cry; but when they're sad, I'm never sure whether to laugh or cry, either! So much OTT. Cuz this is SPN, and thas how we roll. BD

But seriously though, how completely tragic is it that in both the world of Dean's greatest wish, as well as the world of Dean's deepest fear, he doesn't have Sam? Like, not even in Dean's wildest fantasies, can he conceive of a world where he doesn't lose Sam completely.

If that's the mental relationship I had with the most important person in my life, I'd run myself into the ground seeking out vile loopholes, too.

Also, I really want more beekeeper!Dean. I know, I know; stop trying to make beekeeper!Dean happen, Kalliel, it's never going to happen--!

Please no spoilers for 9x02! Obviously I'm like six seasons behind right now. XP Getting there, getting there!
Tags: beekeeper!dean, fandom: spn

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