Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

happiness has no plot, no climax, and wills no denouements

Hey guys.

I can't tell whether it feels like it's been a long time or not, but I missed all of you. And LJ and fandom and SPN. I've been spending some quality time with Paul Walker and PW fandom--and to a tangential degree, of course, the Fast franchise. He is a way bigger deal to me than is expressible or entirely appropriate; a daily constant who I admire for things people don't usually get admired for (and also for things that people do). My bff and I exchanged a Big Bang's worth of text messages about Paul Walker after November 30, I suppose in part making up for all the moments where a Paul Walker reference would have been par for the course in other circumstances but instead was swallowed. (I'm pretty sure I used to reference Into the Blue at least every other day, not even kidding. It is the worst movie ever and continues to be the worst movie ever and I love every minute of it.)

Basically every night I'd be like, well, now that I'm back home and done acting like a normal person, it's time to spend the next 7 hours texting about Paul Walker.

I feel like at some point I should write an actual thing about Paul Walker, and the Internet and Paul Walker, and me and Paul Walker, but that day is not today. I watched/rewatched a bunch of old Paul Walker movies this month, and they were universally odd experiences. The old ones were pretty great, and there was much happiness all around, except about halfway through I'd realize that at some point the movie was going to end, and reality would return. And like, every time I watch one I never want it to ever have a plot or anything (and keep in mind that all of these movies are fairly plot lite to begin with--the first forty minutes of Into the Blue is legitimately just footage of Paul Walker and Jessica Alba scuba diving)--I just wanted it to be an entire film filled with nothing but happiness and peace, and not the inevitable drug war, Ivy League secret society homicide, war between England and France in 1357, etc. The more recent movies are harder; Fast 6 was probably the most unpleasant movie viewing experience I've ever had. Not okay.

And man, if ever there were something fandom obliterating. I didn't think there was something that could wipe SPN from my life so immediately and thoroughly (at least, nothing that wasn't 1) directly related to my person/personal life, and or 2) intentional on my part) but APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG. And then there were final papers, and then there was family, and so forth.

But I mainlined 9x01 through 9x07 tonight, and I think I want to come home. <3

The trick will be doing so in time to write my spn_j2_xmas piece...

And I still haven't seen 9x09. I don't want to be traumatized or disappointed. But if 9x09 isn't traumatizing, I will be disappointed--a double bind if I ever knew one. Please no spoilers, though (of even the mildest, "I liked it!/I loathed it!" sort)!
Tags: disappear here, fandom: misc., fandom: spn, unapologetic hit-and-run, wwdd: what would diesel do?

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