Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

Positivity Meme #3

In July I started this thing where I'd write immediately upon waking for an hour every day. Often I'd write more than that, but I'd stop keeping track after that first required hour.

I stopped this when I was on vacation with my family, and while finishing my Big Bang (because that was more like some absurd bullshit that totaled well over an hour of writing per day). Then I got back into it, and then went off it again when my bff was visiting. Like all habits, it was so, so easy to keep at it once I caught the rhythm of it. And it is so, so hard to get back into it. XP

But I think what I'm doing is trying to rush the process, which is exactly what I started this practice to avoid! Because I had it in my mind that I'd signed up for SDMB, you know? And I needed to get on that shit and knock out a bunch of words right off the bat.

I could still do that; like, I'm capable. I just shouldn't. I could probably bang out a draft of that between now and the due date, and there are great things to be said of that creative style. But that sort of exploratory deluge isn't conducive to the story I want to tell or the style I want to tell it in; the story is slow and deliberate (in an aimless sort of way), and I need the process to reflect that, too.

So no SDMB for me. I'm gonna focus on the beta-reading and straight-up reading/viewing side of this one. :D

This is a positive thing because it feels really good to know that about a piece, and most importantly about myself as a writer. I don't think having that clear idea of what I want to do and what I want it to be is 100% a new thing, necessarily, but I feel like before I wouldn't act with respect to that vision. I'd just grab a deadline, and I'd hold to that deadline no matter what kind of ridiculousness that entailed, because I knew that if I didn't, I'd never finish anything. Better the trainwreck than the absence of the train, you know?

But I do know what works for me now, and even more importantly, I know that the thing that works is a thing that I actually can do. Having that kind of sedate confidence feels great! It's the difference between crashing through the door because that's the only way you're going to get to the other side, and just striding through it because you own the damn place. <3

2. This afternoon Rosemarie Garland Thomson (disability studies/literary studies/bioethics) came to workshop a paper of hers, and her methodology gave me great things to think about with respect to my own work, and the reasons and means by which it can speak to environmental science and policy--and this is great timing, because the oral exam that determines whether I stay in my program or leave with Master's degree is next Thursday (AKA my brother's birthday, AKA the day Dean was gripped tight an raised from perdition!), and I really need this for that.

3. Today is Paul Walker's 41st birthday. I miss you, Starfish. <3
Tags: academia, fandom: spn, writing, wwdd: what would diesel do?

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