Title: we call them comic stories
Genre: gen, episode tag, dialogue-only
Characters: Cole, Mrs. Cole, peripheral Cole, Jr., peripheral Sam
Word Count: 1200
Summary: Cole's wife is writing a book. It's a book about killing Dean Winchester.
Notes: For my spnspiration bingo prompt, "dialogue only." Missing scene/director's cut of the phone call that spared Sam much agony, inspired by all this talk of "good men" and "bad men" and demons and such-like. And of course, my rabid love for Action Man. Spoilers 10x02.
No, no, I'm not busy. Just down at a warehouse. Askin' a guy some questions, you know how it goes.
Nothing. Just, if that's how this is gonna go--I talked to the tile guy about the bathroom. But he didn't wanna answer any of my questions.
Yeah, my guy's not talking much either. Excuses, mostly. Funny story about vampires.
Tile Guy likes the gun safe, by the way. And you know, after he left, I was just thinking, and then thinking a lot and like, Cole--I had an uncle, he moved up to Mercer Island because of the gun laws--he was saying we were gonna start having people register all the bullets or something, I don't know, but--
If the bullets are registered, they're gonna know it's you.
Are you using the cell I gave you? Not the landline?
Then they're not gonna know it's me. You like the ringtone I put on it?
I liked getting a bill for $1.50.
Ship rations and rags because of my thoughtless expenditure, I know. Hey, well, you can always sell the little man to the highest bidder if things get tight. He was tellin' me about a cavey auction?
I mean, it's not that. I mean--it's just a pain in the ass, you know? Writing a check for $1.50 like that. And yeah, guinea pigs. The 4H was doing it. We went last night. Alejandra--she's the one who runs the safety patrol, the thing where the kids are supposed to keep the traffic moving in the drop-off-loop?--asked where you were. When I couldn't tell her she tried to hold my hand and told me PTSD was nothing to be ashamed of. But like, in a TV way, you know? It was awful. You know who I'm talking about, right? Alejandra? Xavier's mom?
Oh, that one. It's always has to be a PTSD thing with her, don't it. You know, that's why you need to write your book--set the record straight.
Well, what am I supposed to tell them, Cole? My husband hopped in his Jeep and drove out to North Dakota; people don't just do that.
Sure they do.
Escondido doesn't do that.
Just tell Alejandra I drove out to meet a guy. He's, he's the most impor--the most--
Fuck, stop laughing; It'll make me cry--
--Dean Winchester's the most important person in my daddy's life; there, I said it. Don't cry. Don't cry. Anyway: Made an impact on me, this guy, right? And I wanted to pay my respects. Just tell her that; she loves that kind of thing. I'll bet it'll make her feel real patriotic, okay?
Why won't they know it's you, Cole? With the bullets. And then there's all that forensics--
Babe, it's going to be all right.
But it's not--it's just, it's already not. You know?
I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just need to be sure. I need to be sure this isn't gonna come back to you.
Dean Winchester's still out there, ain't he?
But you're not a professional serial killer.
It's not the same, Cole.
Babe, you know I don't like talking about this.
I know. I know I know I know. That's why I'm writing the book.
Just--think of it this way. Right circumstances, and it don't matter who you kill. Who gets killed--
--because it's a passive construction--
--sure. It's just. House rules. We're over there, or we're in North Dakota, it's the same sort of thing. There're just so many people where it don't matter to anyone if they die or not. Good man, bad man--it don't matter. No one's counting.
I'm going to put that in the book.
I thought you said you didn't wanna write a sad book; it's starting to sound pretty damn sad, babe.
I don't wanna remember you saying that; I don't want that to be a part of you. I want him to say it instead.
Read me a page.
Don't you have a guy?
He ain't going anywhere, it's good. I just wanna know what you're up to, I wanna know what you're doing.
I have to go to the school. It's a furlough day, the ones where they go in late.
So read me a sentence.
Are you okay, Cole?
I'm fine, everything's fine, I just--you have that Jesus uncle, right?
All my uncles are Jesus uncles, Cole.
The one who wouldn't let his kids read Harry Potter.
Yeah, that's the one up on Mercer Island. Why?
He believe in vampires?
No, just demons.
Christ almighty. These fucken people.
What? Wait, why?
Just taking a poll. Come on, read me a sentence. Read me whatever you did today.
Fine, hang on. Hang on. Okay. This is the first sentence. Oh, this is embarrassing.
Clock's a-tickin', babe. I wanna hear it.
"I am not masked vengeance. This is not a comic story. That's not what America is really made of. I have a mortgage and a wife, and a son who loves math and art at school. The last four months, I've been teaching at the ROTC Academy; I'm done with active duty. I have a life. I also have a vengeance mission. I wouldn't say that's a contradiction; and so, who needs a mask? Everything I have is everything that vengeance mission? He ain't ever gonna have. Not when I've done my bit and finished the job." What do you think? Cole? ...Cole?
That's good; that's really good, babe.
My agent told me they're not called "comic stories." But I liked the double entendre. Did you like the double entendre?
You're asking the wrong guy, darlin'. A what now?
But did it make sense? That all makes sense, right? I've been doing edits.
I just-- Sure it does, babe. It's good.
Well, do you have any questions?
Is he a good man? The guy in the book?
I thought you said it didn't matter if he was a good guy or a bad guy.
Yeah, but I still wanna know!
Oh my god, I'm serious, don't laugh. I'm gonna cry, I miss you. He's a real good man, that guy. Yeah, he's great.
You're the one who keeps making me laugh! He's a good man, huh? Tell that to the gal he keeps leavin' behind, ever since he knocked her up on graduation day. ROTC lockers, on that one bench-- Made her get married quick, at Pendleton, which is romantic as hell, of course--
My agent's telling me to turn it into a romance, you know. The kind with the muscle-y dude on the cover, and all that airbrushing. He says it'll sell if I do it like that.
So make it a romance. I'd like that. Hell, I'd like that a lot.
You're so weird. How do you want me to start it, then? "Many, many moons ago--"?
That's what you always say. "Many, many moons ago." I'm serious, Cole. Is something wrong?
I--should get back to my guy, is all. Might be gettin' antsy.
Shit, we need to get to the school, too. Shit, shit.
I'll call you.
Wait, Cole. The guy in the book. He's a good man. That's what his "gal" knows, anyway.
And how does she know?
He always comes home.