Because this fic wasn't even a good idea at the time. Waaaaaaasn't even a good idea at the time. XP But for some reason I just keep writing it, and I think at this point I've accepted that I am writing it still is because at some point... I started writing it. Like, there is no better reason. And it's not even like I'm actually hoping it will come together at some point, or that I expect it to work out well in the end.
And ultimately, I think it's entirely possible that the only reason I haven't just trashed it is because this whole process feels extremely thematically salient with respect to S9/S10.
And uh, I'm kind of really into that, ngl. >.>