Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

The JA Conundrum

1. I refer to both Jensen Ackles and Jessica Alba as JA. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll read “Jensen Ackles,” my mind will automatically translate that to “JA,” and somehow I’ll end up thinking that the sentence I am reading is about Jessica Alba. As one might imagine, this makes for some strange sentences.

2. There is only one solution. Jensen Ackles will simply have to change his name.

3. I suppose JA could—excuse me, I suppose Jessica Alba could—since other!JA’s got seniority and all, but hey. He’s not the one taped up on my bedroom wall now is he? XP

For the last few weeks, I’ve been writing daily—gradually increasing the amount of time spent writing. Up until last night, it was mostly longhand; often journaling, sometimes letters to people. Occasionally planning notes or one-liners for my BB. As far as word processing went, it was all a lot of academic writing, fellowship applications, a letter of rec for a student, etc. But last night I wrote for double this week’s required increment of time, and produced 900 words of fic. And it felt so good. It was fun, and electric, and when I posted it (via TwitLonger of all things, lolll) I got this thrill in my stomach.

I’m not saying it itself was good—it’s baroque as fuck and lol characterization—but it made me feel really good. It also felt great to write Sam, since I haven't really done much of that (except from Dean's POV, which is exceptionally dissimilar from writing actual Sam) since last year's BB. So all that was fun. <3

I could fill a book with the volume and strange variety of Lily dreams, but this is my sister’s most recent:

in my dream I was asleep on Daddy’s couch. I woke up when Lily jumped onto the couch with me, and I sat up. It was pith black. But I felt her front feet standing on my leg and her face up by mine—her ear even twitched and brushed my cheek. At that moment I thought “This is just right. Ruby’s sleeping on the ground right there (I couldn’t see him but I had a sense) an Lily’s here with me.” There was a brief moment of peace, but suddenly I was filled with dread and discouragement. It was dark. Too dark. No light from the TV or computer, no reflections of streetlights or moonlight. Everything was completely dark and all I had was a *sense* of where I was, just the vaguest experience. I realized it wasn’t real and forced myself to wake up, in bitter disappointment.

Also, I haven't spoken to my mother in almost two months, but I'll write about that later.

Other than that, been doing a LOT of academic stuff. I’m in the midst of arranging logistics and funding for two conferences this summer, writing those papers, helping with a speaker series, organizing a reading group and a professionalization workshop, applying to a fellowship for 2016, working on my prelims lists, and doing what seems like eighteen million other different things. GOODNESS.

But after tomorrow I have a week off for spring break, so while continuing of all of the above, my only real plans are 1) finish the fandomaid fics, so I can 2) catch up on SPN (S10!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and 3) catch up on LJ without dying of spoiler overdose for episodes that aired so long ago they can’t even be remotely counted as spoilers anymore.

(Quick, before Jensen Ackles transmogrifies into Jessica Alba again!)

Also, I made a new Twitter account, because I gave up on Twitter but then missed my non-SPN friends over there. It's not a fandom Twitter, and I'm trying to keep my feed as non-fandom as possible (though I should clarify, this distinction is relative to my ability to differentiate between SPN and reality, which is not high), but if you have a Twitter I would love to see you! Unless you post a lot of spoilers, in which case I would love to just keep seeing you on LJ instead, sorry. XD

Fun story, I mostly follow ocean science/ecology Twitters. But what is a Twitter feed without some celebrities, right? So after following the Fast & Furious cast, Ira Glass, Sera Gamble, and Neil Gaiman, I also followed Danneel and Gen. And I was like, well, those are all the celebrities I know! I think I can call it a day!

Gradually, it dawned on me that oh yeah. Danneel and Gen are like, married to these two guys who also have Twitter. I might be interested in them, too. XD

Anyway, my new handle is @littorinalee, which is the name of a character I started writing for tricycleman.

Love you all. <3
Tags: mistaking reality for spn again, these things matter, trufax, unapologetic hit-and-run

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