Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

a real, visible person

Tonight I went to a friend's birthday party with my aerial duo partner. We know the birthday girl via silks, but we didn't know any of her other friends. It was at a bar, so I ate soft pretzels and everyone else ordered drinks. I'm bad at parties, as is my partner; and we confessed to each other that if this were a party at someone's house, and not at a bar, we'd probably be the ones standing next to the food table by the cheese cubes.

(Incidentally, earlier today I smuggled home a bag of cheese cubes from the prospective student breakfast held by a neighboring department.)

We also confessed to each other on our way out--everyone else went to another bar; we both went home because we're performing tomorrow night and we have a rehearsal at 8am--that we have no idea how she had so many friends to invite, and who would come. I mean, she's a tremendously nice person--don't get me wrong! We weren't surprised she'd be surrounded by friends. But she's only been living in this city for six months! Where did she even find all these people?

My partner was like, okay, I've lived in this city for almost thirty years and I'm pretty sure I could not think of as many people to invite as were in attendance at this party.

I know for sure I couldn't. And while I don't know that I'd want to--I voluntarily spent my birthday crying my way through Psych's absolutely perfect series finale, and crying my way through a 2x21/22 rewatch, and had street cart dumplings and a little cake with a (a, as in singular) cohort friend--I was still kind of like, wait a second. XD One of my best friends forgot it was my birthday entirely. This isn't even a quantity issue! And where have I gone WRONG IN MY LIFE. How do I conduct myself as a real, visible person?

This isn't meant to be a weepy post or anything; lord knows I've made enough of those this year to last a lifetime. Mostly I'm thinking about tomorrow, because I'll be performing my first aerial routine, and it's a duo act, and we invented our own move and everything. I'll be nervous later, but right now I'm proud and excited.

I don't want to think about next week. I made it through this past one (and look! even went to a birthday party! against my better judgment time-wise, but still); however, I'm way behind on a lot of critical pieces, and definitely unprepared for what's to come. If I can survive March, I might make it through April.

** Though, I will say that I did actually manage to have a conversation with one of the birthday girl's friends, because we found common ground in Firefly and if there's one thing in life that I am good at, it is using Firefly quotes to great effect in conversations among fellow browncoats. My one social skill!
Tags: strange tales from the midwestern front, trufax

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