1. what are some writing tics that persist in your work but that you dislike?
I already spoke to some of the more specific things in that other writing meme, but I think the main thing that's bothering me right now (to the point where it's hindering my ability to put words down) is that I can't ever seem to write things worth reading. And I mean this completely irrespective of whether the thing literally gets read or not--some do, some don't. But there's that thing, that feeling you get when a story hits this note or chorus of notes, and you know exactly why it's there (even if you can't pin it down), why you're reading it, that it's earned its place in this world. It does something. And at the risk of over-qualifying this sentiment, I don't mean that in a utilitarian sense, like "oh, this short story interrogates X extremely important social thing," though that's nice, too. It's that Thing, that activity, that verb-ness, that liveliness, that I really want.
Sometimes I'll look back on a thing and think, well, this is pretty (or prettily unpretty). Perhaps even well-characterized, with good dialogue and interesting emotions and dare I say a hint of poignance? But where's the soul?
Without that, even the prettiest words are just "well-written," which personally, feels like the worst thing you can say about a piece of writing. Because at the end of the day, words are just words. And if the best thing about the written word is the fact of its word-ness, where did the rest go wrong?
2. what does your id want? do you ever give in?
My id's only function is to think it wants things it really doesn't want.
3. You have to erase one of your fics from existence forever. Which one and why?
Everything that's been posted already. I don't like looking back on old things--though that hasn't stopped me from doing it, much to the disadvantage of my delicate brain. Because what that gets me is really only ever some constellation of the following four reactions:
1) Ugh god why did I let that see the light of day???
2) Why did these people even read this, are they crazy?
3) THIS IS SO GOOD WHY DID NO ONE READ THIS ARGH
4) FUCK, this old thing is better than the new thing I am writing right now. :(
There's no winning hand, here! And while I think looking back on old things can be a good concrit activity, part of me isn't sure anymore that simply writing more new things isn't equally as constructive (and less depressing).
4. how much do you trust the reader?
Mostly I mistrust the reader's willingness to trust me. Wankiness at X unflattering thing I've had this or that character do or say has only happened a couple times to my face, and a couple times not to my face, but those instances speak loudly. XP
5. have you ever written anything you would’ve backclicked if it’d been written by anyone else?
My least favorite trope in ALL THE WORLD is de-aging, which I've never quite written; but I've written some deaging-esque amnesia fics, which is probably my second least-favorite trope, so I guess I probably would have had to seriously consider how much I enjoyed kalliel as a writer, and whether it was that right time and right place, before clicking on those.
6. what’s your guilty pleasure as a writer?
Honestly, either the pleasure is guiltless or the guilt obliterates the pleasure.
7. be honest: are you mean to your faves, or do you go easy on them?
Dean Winchester and I have a complicated relationship, the only "easy" part of which is my knowing that I love him deeply, unerringly, entirely. I have a really hard time letting him have good things.
8. what parts of writing a fic do you think are a chore?
Posting. I'm not fond of writing headers and summaries, which I've already ranted about at length, probably multiple times, but the main chore of posting is knowing that the moment you hit that button, you're basically screwed--and you're not going to have a choice after that. You're going to be shackled to your hope for positive feedback, which really feels more like dread.
9. are there any unintentional trends in your writing?
I basically just write the same fic over and over again. And then sometimes I write about Tamara. Or Mrs. Rourke. Or Tracy Bell.
10. have you ever intentionally written a character as OOC to fit with a kink/prompt/story idea?
No, but I feel like my base characterizations of all of these people are pretty stylized at this point, perhaps hazarding towards being OOC, depending on who you are and who your own versions of these people are.