Pairing: one-sided Sam/Dean, one-sided Cas/Dean, Sam/Amelia
Warnings: Angst, unhappiness and unrequited feelings all around.
Word count: ~ 5500
Summary: Why are we doing this to each other, Sam wonders.
A bit of a fix-it for the first half of S8 which doesn’t really fix anything.
My (abbreviated) comments:
Okay, first of all: Sam's jealousy, and resentment, confusion, sadness, yearning, and deep, deep love in this fic. <333333 The way this fic wades through so much of S8 canon, sewing and rearticulating and juxtaposing and reflecting--but not only S8 exclusive of what came before, but also S7 as well. I feel like this is the fic I've been waiting for and have needed for these two seasons, and here it is, and that feeling is just exhilarating.
Plus, I'll avoid specific spoilers, but the narration to this fic is full of all of these most perfect phrasings; Sam's tone here is brusque and ultimately loving, but also not quite generous, and a heartbreakingly sad. Just really phenomenal, vibrant character work and synthesis!
Also, this is completely unrelated (or maybe less unrelated than it first appeared, on second thought), but I also really loved Anna Akana's video this week: I'm Mean to the People I Love. Life role model Anna Akana speaking wisdom to the world!