Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

[Rec] "Pagliacci" by anactoria

Today is one of those days where I have things I need to do, but I mostly spend time staring at them and not doing them. But also not having the attention span for fun things, so that at the very least I'd be wasting time on those. And effectively impersonating a rock more than a person, waiting for the hours to pass by, wishing time would pass more quickly so it'd be time for bed, even though 1) I'm not looking forward to anything, and 2) I'm actually the OPPOSITE of looking forward to anything, since I have to go to a convention in Las Vegas next week and I haven't prepped my materials (or my social functionality). And bed is not that comfortable, and my sleep has not been that good, so it's not even that I'm looking forward to that. SCREW CONSCIOUSNESS, mostly.

On the other hand, if there's something that can jump-start your humanity and zest for living life, it's a good story--the kind that can take you out of yourself in order to show you back home. Here is the critical reading I did today:

Title: Pagliacci
Author: anactoria
Genre: gen, character study, 10x09 tag
Characters: Dean, Sam, Cas
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers through 10.09
Word count: 1800
Summary: Everybody loves a clown.

My comment, revised for story spoilers:

This is absolutely stunning. And your recontextualization and play with the New York story and that whole scene in 10x09 makes me want to go back and watch that episode again with this newly in mind. It's just so good and so true, and so deeply Dean to have that moment of gut-twisting, only to perform this one story the same exact way it's always been.

Dean speak more to this here is somewhere between heartbreak and, I'm not sure, iron. Elementally Dean, I guess is what I mean here. And to have that ending right after is beyond visceral. I love the stark, clipped language and the way it just drops the reader to our knees, then all the way to the ground.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dean Winchester. Criminally under-read, evocatively written Dean Winchester by anactoria, who's shatteringly good, always.

P.S. RUTH CONNELL IS TOO CUTE FOR WORDS. Ugh, I want to take her out for lunch or something.
Tags: fandom recs, fandom: spn, trufax

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