Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

Tender Confessions

- I've discovered I like reading RPF, but I can only do it if I refer to actual-real-life J2 by their initials. Otherwise the RPF experience is too uncomfortable and I can't handle it. XD I REQUIRE PROFESSIONAL DISTANCE AND DISINTEREST. Which is kind of funny because I definitely refer to Gen and Danneel as Gen and Danneel regardless of whether they are fictional or real?

- I hate smileys with noses. Also cannot deal. XP

- I read an article once about "the appeal of Fast and Furious" that cited Brian and Dom's erotic subtext as the series' crowning virtue. Which was discouraging, I gotta admit, because it made me get all hipster!Kalliel like, that's exactly 0% of what comprises my interest in the Fast and the Furious. Vin and Paul's relationship (or Dom and Brian's, either way) isn't at all important to me for its sexual properties. It's about living forms of deep intimacy that explicitly aren't sexually-based. About valuing kinship (blood or otherwise) that actually doesn't turn on sexuality OR sex acts. Like, straight dude friendship should be allowed to exist as a thing without it being eroticized? Even straight dudes hugging, crying, singing, and rolling around in the dirt together. That's important.

And like, I think this dumb article might seriously be why I don't ship Sam/Dean as much as I might, or write it as often as I might. Because like, I really enjoy Wincest. I enjoy it a lot! And sometimes in Wincest it matters that the relationship is explicitly sexual and sometimes it doesn't--could be gen, tbh. Or essentially would be the same as gen but for one sexual scene, etc.

But when I think about my own writing it's like. I do tend to just write more gen by default. But there are moments when a fic could have gone either way and I chose the gen way because of this Fast article. There are moments where I've gone so far as to actually go back and excise/rewrite Wincest drafts to MAKE them gen, because of this article. XP Which, idk, seems like a sort of dubious practice. That just doesn't feel right to me.

But then at the same time it's like, gdi the world needs gen the world needs non-sexual intimacy, the world needs really straight bros (like Dom and Brian) doing "gay"-coded things and still being straight as fuck (just as much as it needs really gay bros doing "straight"-coded things and "gay"-coded things, to be sure).

tl;dr Goddamn Fast and Furious, making life complicated. RIDE OR DIE. XP

- Man, aren't you thrilled I have LJ on my phone now and can just ramble away at length while waiting for invited speaker talks to start?
Tags: fandom: misc., fandom: spn, i use lj the way other people use tumblr, kalliel is a creeping creeper, we don't have time for your blah blah bl, wwdd: what would diesel do?

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