My mother: I texted your sister to say she should take the bus home from Sacramento. She texted me back, "Ft. Chicago, IL." What is that an autocorrect of? Does that mean "from Chico"?
Me: It's not an autocorrect. It's clearly a distress signal. She boarded an American Airlines flight and ended up sent back to the 19th century, to Fort Chicago. There's probably going to be a French fur-trading raid soon. You're lucky she still has cell service.
My mother: But I don't want to drive to Sacramento just to SEE if she gets off an airplane.
Me: Forget the airport. You'll probably need a blood spell.