Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,


Apropos of nothing, really, except that this is often my first thought upon waking. And it was what I was thinking when I was driving home tonight.

September is upon us, and Michigan instantly decided it was going to perform early autumn for a few days. It's supposed to be 90 and 90000000% humidity again next week, but we can dream. Anyway, my point is, autumnal weather for two seconds = my favorite holiday = SPN Premiere Day = all my favorite smells, e.g. apple cider and burning pumpkins and decomposing deciduous leaves and people burning wood and wet asphalt and general woodiness.

- Funding is coming in for the symposium I'm co-coordinating, blessedly. We still have $4600 to go, but I think things are working out. The admin assistant for the department apparently doesn't work here anymore, so we suddenly have her job to do... (which makes me wonder if we have to keep her line in the annual budget... >.> No, right?) We have a LOT of copy to write and organization to do, but having some money makes everything feel less dire. We have way too much work for two people to be doing for free, but there's a chance we may still be able to sleep this month. Maybe not next month.

- I've been entirely redoing my syllabus (and most of my readings, and all my paper prompts, and the entire STRUCTURE of my class) all week, but I think that once I pull together lesson plans for the next two weeks that should be okay. We'll see where my students are at, since more than anything that depends what we'll do.

- My own paper for the major conference in my field that I'm going to? ... ... Uh.

- Finally caught up to where I was supposed to be in the work I'm doing for a professor, thank god. It's so boring right now, my god it's so boring. And I'm so afraid I'm doing a bad job, because it's sort of meticulous work but MY GOD IT'S SO BORING sometimes it's hard to keep paying attention.

- Dissertation prospectus, what? I got nothing. I'm hoping to work on it intensively this weekend and have a solid draft by Monday night. --So I say, but I haven't touched it since my weak-ass poking at it on August 18. ... ... ...

- I still hate my wincestbb. HATE HATE HATE. I'm staying away from it and not looking at it to achieve some distance from it (in the hopes that I will later reunite with it and end up in the most psychic town in America with it or something, idk) but I CAN STILL SEE IT SITTING ON MY DESK AND JUST KNOWING IT IS THERE FILLS ME WITH HATE. X( But I think I may just need to accept that it is what it is and that I hate it and am going to continue hating it. Gah, just writing this paragraph is reminding me how much I hate this fic. XD

- I LOVE my summergen pinch hit that I wrote, though. <3 It does everything my wincestbb certainly does not.

- I filled up with Michigan gas for the first time since June yesterday. (My previous tank came from Michigan City, Indiana, which is like two steps from the border, but whatever.) I suppose this means I'm officially home now. But I was helping some friends move to a new house on, because hauling boxes and packing them efficiently in vehicles are some of my favorite things. And it just made me feel like I wanted to PACK SOMETHING and then go camp somewhere (and/or move, but lol, I do not need to move). I don't actually have anything to pack, and I have a dissertation prospectus need to write instead, so I organized my sock box (that is, the cardboard box I keep my socks in because I do not want to own a dresser). Because apparently I still hadn't gotten my fix after six hours of move-helping.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, the other day I had what is now my new favorite SPN dream, because my subconscious gave me something that was 100% undeniably my aesthetic.

It was morning, at Bobby's, and Sam and Dean were casually just like, changing their clothes in the middle of the kitchen. I guess they were switching into collared shirts and suits or something. Jody was there, too, waiting for them.

But the nature of the scene was so unassuming, and so not about eye-candy or sex appeal or any of that--just them changing clothes in a roomful of people (and each other) because, you know, duty calls. XD

The part I liked best about the dream was that the camera never actually showed shirtless boys--the way TV will imply nakedness because they cannot show it. But they weren't actually naked; like, they still had pants on. They were just changing their shirts. So it's not like the camera could not show; it just chose not to. And we got all these interesting shots of Bobby's decor, and the mise en scene of the kitchen, and Jody listening to them, and close shots of their faces as they talked.

And I just thought the whole thing with the camera focus was SO FUNNY, because of course they knew what they were denying the world, and SO, SO SPN.

Like, that's it. That's the whole dream. It was basically just me-in-my-dream being in love with the way SPN often chooses to film things. And the Winchesters doing almost literally nothing (which tbh is probably like...my third-favorite thing for them to do, always--second being H/C and first being fight-scenes-but-only-the-kind-with-interesting-choreography).

It was a beautiful way to spend some REM time! <3____<3
Tags: academia, fandom: spn, i can't watch tv like a normal person, strange tales from the midwestern front, timetimetime

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