Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,

More specifically

Okay, I need to expand on that a little more because rn I am genuinely too beside myself with SPN love that I cannot go to sleep in spite of the fact that I spent quite literally all day attempting to fly across the country, it is past 1AM, and I need to get a lot of work done tomorrow.

- watching S9 and S10 (I'm up to 10x18) in a massive conflagration of my evenings has been the best experience, especially since I was at my dad's house for it. He'd go to work and I'd work from home and I'd just look forward to watching SPN all day and then we would, and the moment we stopped I'd just start looking forward to the next evening because SPN is the only thing that matters in this world lol

- completely unprompted, I was in the shower the other night and got hit with a lot of emotions about our series finale. It's the first time that's really happened for me, because SPN has felt like an infinite space (of infinite rewatches) that I'm certainly planning to take with my past this May, but I think it's really starting to hit me now. Just the idea that something will happen to Sam and Dean that will feel like an ending is overwhelming. It took me all summer after S5 to process 5x22, and that was with full knowledge that S6 was going to exist, and with only half a season of really caring about SPN under my belt.

- I'm also going to miss the finale, and don't be able to see the last three episodes until late June at the earliest. I will, fittingly, be in the woods, teaching. I can't believe I'm really going to miss it. :(

- I've been writing fan fiction as part of an extremely self-destructive strategy of avoidance, which has somehow led to me writing a fic to take a break from a fic that I started before finishing a different fic. Instead of working on job materials on my flight up from California to Seattle for a job interview, I started a new fic. And then on my flight back to Detroit from Seattle (which stopped back in California, and then Nevada, and then and ONLY THEN went to Detroit) kept writing that fic. I finished that one, and would like to push it out of the womb so I can feel like I have fewer loose ends in my life, but it's for Dean's birthday, so it really needs to wait until the 24th. I don't write a lot of "holiday" fic (though I think I've somehow done two for Sam's birthday, and zero for Dean's), but it felt like the time. <3

- I also made the mistake of watching the "Drowning" promo, and I. cannot. handle it. cannot. oh my god. I need to remember that this is my last chance, ever, to queue up episodes spoiler-free and have that experience of going in free. You only get that once. So here's to staying spoiler-free and not succumbing to the intense desire to have Sam and Dean in front of my face at all times and therefore expanding spoiler-filtered posts. And here's to being prompt about watching episodes because clearly that was an epic, epic failure for the first 8. (I still have not seen all of 15x06.) ETA: As much as I need to be Strong about avoiding spoilers I wanted to clarify that I loved the promo and am super into it and very anxious!!
Tags: fandom: spn, i can't watch tv like a normal person, spn x

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