Kalliel (kalliel) wrote,
Kalliel
kalliel

15x20 "Carry On"

Update: I have now burst into tears six times today. The three times before and then three more times during this episode.

The last time I cried this hard was late February. Halfway through a campus visit in Lynchburg, Virginia, in a shoe-themed hotel, I got a voice mail telling me I'd lost my dream job to someone else. I cried loud enough I"m pretty sure whoever was in the adjoining room could hear me, because I knew I could hear them. I cried until it hurt--until it was just viscerally painful. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to be dehydrated, it hurt because I'd wanted it that badly and because I knew I was going to wake up the next morning and finish this next job interview like nothing at all had happened. The time before that was because my grandmother had died.

This time, though. All three times (well, four now). It's because I am so, so unbelievably proud of Sam and Dean. I'm proud of Show. I love you so much. You are everything.

You are everything.
Tags: beekeeper!dean, don't you cry no more, fandom: spn, i can't watch tv like a normal person, sam!kinks, spn x, welcome to the end, yum cups
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